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A Special Event from the Center for Public Service and Community Research and the UHD Counseling Department

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Losses That Shape Us (and what comes after)


Loss deeply shakes how we experience ourselves and the world. Whether it’s family estrangement, romantic heartbreak, career or financial setbacks, physical or mental health challenges, or other life transitions, loss often makes “everything feel different.” In this first-of-its-kind, six-part series, faculty from UHD’s social work and counseling departments explore the different types of loss. Each of the six sessions will have a different focus:

lossLosses That Shape Us (and what comes after)

Thursday, September 17th
12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
in Buffalo Bayou Room
(next to Starbucks)



Focus: General introduction to the series and a discussion on the various facets of loss and the ensuing grief it produces.


 
 

Familial Loss - hand holding thru an emotional timeFamilial Loss

  Tuesday, September 22nd
  12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
  in Buffalo Bayou Room
  (next to Starbucks)

Speakers: Naomi Berger-Perez and Jessica Peralta

Focus: Estrangement, ongoing conflict, emotional distance, aging of parents, or empty nesting—can deeply shake how we experience ourselves and the world.

 

Speakers BIO

Romantic loss - two people breaking a heart into two piecesRomantic Loss

  Wednesday, October 7th
  12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
  in Buffalo Bayou Room
  (next to Starbucks)

Speakers: Leslie Sirrianni and Dr. Dana Smith


Focus: Breakups, rejection, betrayal, the end of a situationship, or unrequited feelings—can deeply shake how we experience ourselves and the world.

Speakers BIO

Career and Financial Loss - person falling off of the career ladderCareer and Financial Loss

  Wednesday, October 21st
  12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
  in Buffalo Bayou Room
  (next to Starbucks)

Speakers: Dr. Richard Simonds, Martin Gonzalez, and Dr. Heather Goltz

Focus: Job loss, career setbacks, financial instability, the scary need to change your major again, the change of a hoped-for career path, unexpected shifts, underemployment, or uncertainty about the future—can deeply shake how we experience ourselves and the world.

 

Speakers BIO

Physical and Mental Loss - patient in a cast in bedPhysical and Mental Loss

 Tuesday, November 3rd
 12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
 in Buffalo Bayou Room
 (next to Starbucks)

Speakers: Dr. Liza Barros Lane and Timothy Coulter

Focus: Loss of health (chronic illness, injury, disability) or loss of mental health (anxiety disorders, depression, burnout, trauma)—can profoundly disrupt how we experience ourselves and the world.

Speakers BIO

Ask me anything - a raised hand in a room of peopleAsk Me Anything

  Wednesday, November 18th
  12:30 – 2:00 p.m.
  in Buffalo Bayou Room
 (next to Starbucks)

Speakers: All Presenters


Focus: We wrap up the series, answering any questions participants may have after being exposed to the various types of loss and how to address them in a manner that is safe and healthy.

 

Speakers BIO


Register for One or More Sessions

Using UHD’s social work professor, Dr. Liza Lane’s Integrative Embodied–Narrative Model, participants will gain a better understanding of these losses by looking at the four key areas of our identity that losses commonly disrupt.

These axes explain why loss — big or small, clear or uncertain — can affect us so deeply. The axes are connected—when one is affected, the others often are too.

  1. Habitual Axis Simple Definition: This is the automatic, body-based sense of who you are and how the world feels familiar. It’s built through daily habits, routines, and the way your body moves through familiar places and actions.

How Loss Disrupts It: Your body’s “autopilot” gets thrown off. Habits and routines that once felt normal no longer match reality. Examples: Automatically reaching for your phone to call someone who’s no longer there; feeling physical tension or emptiness in places tied to what you lost; daily tasks like walking to class or eating in the cafeteria suddenly feeling heavy or wrong. This can make the world feel less safe, predictable, or like home.

  1. Practical Axis Simple Definition: This is the part of your identity that comes from your roles, values, commitments, and sense of purpose. It gives you agency and the felt sense that “I can do this.”

How Loss Disrupts It: Loss can drain your motivation, confidence, and action-readiness. Examples: Struggling to focus on schoolwork or make decisions about the future; feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks that used to feel manageable; hesitation to plan ahead when everything feels uncertain. Daily life and next steps can suddenly feel much harder.

  1. Historical Axis Simple Definition: This is the part of your identity rooted in your personal story and shared background — where you come from, your timeline in life, and your sense of continuity.

How Loss Disrupts It: The expected story and timeline of your life get interrupted. Examples: Mourning the future you thought you would have; feeling disconnected from family traditions or personal milestones; questioning “who am I now” in relation to what was lost.

  1. Narrative Axis Simple Definition: This is how you weave your experiences into a coherent life story that connects your past, present, and hoped-for future.

How Loss Disrupts It: The story of your life feels fractured. It can be hard to make sense of the loss without letting it define your entire identity. Rebuilding a meaningful story becomes an important part of healing.

Ambiguous vs. Unambiguous Losses

  • Unambiguous Loss: A clear, definite ending with closure. Example: A final breakup text, a death, or being officially laid off from a job.

  • Ambiguous Loss: Unclear, uncertain, or without clean closure. Example: A situationship that slowly fades, emotional family distance, or ongoing health uncertainty. These are often harder because your mind and body stay in limbo.

How Shame Shows Up in Loss

Loss often triggers shame around worthiness, belonging, or competence (“I should be handling this better,” “Something is wrong with me,” or “I’m not enough”). This shame can make you withdraw, hide your pain, or question your value, and it affects all four axes.

Key Takeaways for College Students
Many losses in college feel ambiguous, which can make processing and healing more confusing.

  • All losses — whether clear or ambiguous — are painful and valid.
  • Shame loses power when met with self-compassion and support.
  • Healing involves short-term coping and longer-term rebuilding of meaning.

 

For more information contact Steven Villano, director of the Center for Public Service and Community Research at villanos@uhd.edu.